If you’re a parent I’m pretty sure there have been times when you wished you could see inside your children’s heads and known all their thoughts. When they’re crying as infants it would be great to know why. Do they have a messy diaper, are they hungry, do they have to burp, are they sleepy, are they sick? It may take several tries before you figure it out.
As they get older knowing
what’s going on inside their heads could help to keep them safe. You might be able to step in before they try
something that looks cool but is dangerous.
It would also help to know when they’re being manipulative, for kids
also learn how to be strategic and cunning.
When they’re little it is often possible to know what’s going on inside
their heads. Smart parents use that time
to create the illusion that they are all-knowing. It impresses the kids and helps to keep them
in line.
A parent will try
to keep that myth going for as long as possible. When children reach their teenage years
they’ve discovered just how little their parents do, in fact, know. Teenagers begin to realize how much they can
get away with. And at that time a parent
may not actually want to know what is going on inside their child’s mind! Although a clever parent will create a
network of spies and informants among neighbors, teachers, and the parents of their kids friends. It is always impressive when you can catch
your teenager at something they thought they got away with. Sometimes you can actually re-instill the
myth that you are all-knowing.
But ultimately a
good parent just wants to know what is going on in their children’s heads to
simply be a better parent. No two
children are entirely alike, although I guess identical twins are close. Still though, for the most part, what works
for one child may not work for another.
You want to give the right amount of freedom and the right amount of
limits so that your children can grow up to be strong and solid people.
I wonder what it
was like for Joseph and Mary as they raised Jesus. How much did they actually know about
him? And along with that, we should
probably ask how much did Jesus know about himself?
The Bible tells us
almost nothing about Jesus’ childhood.
The only story is the one from Luke’s gospel that we read today. That does give us some clues as to what it
was like to raise Jesus. It also gives
us a subtle lesson about God and our faith.
In order to understand that, let’s remember that while the Bible tells
us almost no stories about Jesus’ childhood that does not mean that there
aren’t any. There are, in fact, quite a
number of stories about him that did not make it in the Bible. One such collection of stories is called the
Infancy Gospel of Thomas. Scholars
believe it was written around the year 150.
While almost all of it is certainly untrue I want to read some excerpts
for you. It’s entertaining to read them
and it also helps us to understand the subtle things we learn from our gospel
today.
Imagine what it
would be like to rear a child who is like this:
“When this child
Jesus was five years old, he was playing at the ford of a stream. He made pools of the rushing water and made
it immediately pure; he ordered this by word alone. He made soft clay and modeled twelve sparrows
from it. It was the Sabbath when he did
this. There were many other children
playing with him. A certain Jews saw
what Jesus did while playing on the Sabbath; he immediately went and announced
to his father Joseph, ‘See, your child is at the stream, and has taken clay and
modeled twelve birds; he has profaned the Sabbath.’ Joseph came to the place, and seeing what
Jesus did he cried out, ‘Why do you do on the Sabbath what it is not lawful to
do?’ Jesus clapped his hands and cried
to the sparrows, ‘Be gone.’ And the
sparrows flew off chirping. The Jews saw
this and were amazed. They went away and
described to their leaders what they had seen Jesus do. The son of Annas the scribe was standing
there with Joseph. He took a branch of a
willow and scattered the water which Jesus had arranged. Jesus saw what he did and became angry and
said to him, (Keep in mind Jesus is supposed to be five years old) ‘You
unrighteous, impious ignoramus, what did the pools and the water do to harm
you? Behold, you shall also wither as a
tree, and you shall not bear leaves nor roots nor fruit.’ And immediately the child was all withered….
“Once again he was
going through the village, and a child who was running banged into his
shoulder. Jesus was angered and said to
him, ‘You shall go no further on your way.’
And immediately the child fell down dead. Some people saw this happen and said, ‘From
whence was this child begotten, for his every word is an act
accomplished?’ The parents of the dead
boy went to Joseph and blamed him: ‘Because you have such a boy you cannot live
with us in the village; your alternative is to teach him to bless and not to
curse, for he is killing our children.’
Joseph took the child aside and warned him saying, ‘Why do you do such
things? These people are suffering and
they hate us and are persecuting us!’
Jesus said, ‘I know that these are not your words, but on account of you
I will be silent. However, they will
bear their punishment.’ Immediately,
those who accused him were blinded.
Those who saw were very frightened and puzzled about him…
“After some days
Jesus was playing upstairs in a certain house, and one of the children playing
with him fell from the house and died.
And when the other children saw this they ran away, and Jesus remained
alone. The parents of the dead child
came and accused Jesus of throwing him down.
Jesus replied, ‘I did not throw him down.’ But still they accused him. Then Jesus leaped down from the roof and
stood by the body of the child and cried out in a great voice, saying ‘Zenon!’
-that was his name – ‘rise up and tell me, did I throw you down?’ He immediately rose up and said: ‘No, Lord,
you did not throw me down, but you raised me.’
Those who saw this were astonished.
The parents of the child glorified God because of this sign that
happened, and they worshiped Jesus.
“After a few days
a young man was splitting wood in the vicinity; the axe fell and split the
bottom of his foot, and he was bleeding to death. There was an outcry and people gathered. The child Jesus ran there. He pushed through the crowd, and seized the
injured foot of the youth; immediately he was healed. He said to the youth, ‘Now get up, split your
wood, and remember me.’ The crowd,
seeing what had happened, worshipped the child, saying, ‘Truly, the Spirit of
God lives in this child!’…
“His father was a
carpenter and at the time made plows and yokes.
He received an order from a certain rich man to make a bed for him. One beam came out shorter than the other, and
he did not know what to do. The child
Jesus said to his father, ‘Lay the two pieces of wood alongside each other, and
make them even at one end.’ Joseph did
as the child told him. Jesus stood at
the other end and grasped the shorter beam; he stretched it and made is equal
with the other. His father Joseph saw
this and was astonished, and embracing the child he kissed him and said, ‘I am
blessed because God has given this child to me.’…
“Joseph sent his
son James to gather wood and bring it into the house. The child Jesus followed him. While James was gathering the sticks, a snake
bit Jame’s hand. As he lay dying, Jesus
came near and breathed on the bite.
Immediately James ceased suffering, the snake burst, and James was
healed.”
Okay, enough of
those stories. There are many more. You get the idea. In these stories Jesus shows supernatural
powers from an early age. He is both
amazing and threatening to people. How
would you go about parenting such a child?
Forget trying to get inside his mind.
You’d know he fully knows your mind!
Do you teach him or does he teach you?
Do you ever discipline such a child or does he discipline you?
Now let’s look at
the only thing the Bible actually tells us about Jesus’s childhood. He’s 12 years old when he stays behind in the
temple. According to Jewish custom a
male child became a man at age 13. So
Jesus is still considered a child. His
parents are understandably worried about him.
All parents know the fear and anxiety of a lost child, and the relief of
finding him or her again. Jesus’s
response is a bit critical of them but still respectful. It is as if he expected his parents to know
where he is and why he was there. Luke
tells us that they did not understand, though.
Then Jesus returned with them and was obedient to them.
What does this
brief scene tell us? (Keep in mind the
other fantastic stories about Jesus’ childhood.) Here we see that Jesus has knowledge of who
he is; or perhaps who he is becoming.
Yet his parents do not know; or do not understand. Jesus has obviously not revealed himself in
any way that is too far out of the ordinary.
And, we can’t say for sure what Jesus knew about himself and when. The Bible isn’t prepared to answer that. But again, he appears to be growing up like a
pretty typical boy.
Then the key part
for us to take away from this text-
Jesus returned with them and was obedient to them. God may be his father. He may be about his Father’s interests, yet
he is still technically a child. He
respects his parents’ authority and is obedient to them. His parents weren’t perfect, but Jesus
respected them and worked with them.
It all adds up to
this: God can accept, and will work with
our flaws, bungles, and imperfections.
God is not like those other childhood stories of Jesus where he is
fixing everything, correcting everyone, and severely punishing everything. With the biblical Jesus there is grace at
every turn.
I believe God is
far less interested in us doing everything perfect, and instead doing things in
whatever imperfect loving way we can.
No parent is
perfect. Good parents do their best with
their limited knowledge. Sometimes the
children turn out great. Sometimes they
are endlessly problematic.
The same goes for
all of life. Do the very best you
can. Always learn from mistakes. Apologize when things go wrong. Be forgiving as God is forgiving with
you. And know that God truly values you
and your ways as you do all of that.
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